The Winter Soldier
You know how superhero movies are really gritty and grounded these days? Well this movie takes comic book movies back to out and out fantasy.
Joseph Paulo is back as Captain America and with Parramatta’s world in crisis, Brad ‘Nick Fury’ Arthur must call on Paulo to save the Eels. See, I told you. Pure fantasy.
The problem with watching the team that is assembled in this movie is that you can’t help but wonder where the real stars of the franchise are.
Nathan ‘Iron Man’ Hindmarsh and The Incredible Hayne were the superheroes that made us love this team but they’re gone and we’re left with a lesser team that spends most of the time getting their arses kicked.
Man of Steel
It might be Marvel Superheroes round but when it comes to superheroes, there’s none better than DC’s Superman. Forget about making up a movie plot to link a rugby league player with a well known movie, Rangi Chase’s life is Man of Steel.
Think about it. A main character who leaves his home (NRL), a place where he doesn’t have any discernible powers, to be in a place where his ability is exceptional compared to those around him (Super League).
When forced to decide who he will save (play for), he chooses his new home (England) over his own people (New Zealand).
All the while leaving a path of destruction (aggravated assault) with no concern for the welfare of others (Tangi Ropati).
He’s the hero Gotham deser…. no. With great power comes… no. I am Iron..nope that’s not it either. Is there a single memorable line from that Henry Cavill movie?
Workhorse Thor
As Marvel Superheroes week draws Mjölnir, what better way to celebrate than with this little (Infinity) Gem.
With the number of comic book movies expl-Odin in recent years it’s only natural rugby league would get in on the act.
Aaron Woods stars as the world’s strongest work-Norse in a plot I can’t think up because I’m too busy trying to come up with the next pun.
So Marvel at my word play no more and see this film. Whether it’s watching with a bunch of your mates or something more Loki, it’s definitely worth checking out.
We Need to Talk About Kevin
‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’ is about an NRL coach (Jason Taylor) who must deal with the atrocities that his winger (Kevin Naiqama) has committed against one on one defence.
Whilst Naiqama looked positively brilliant in the first half against Parramatta in Round 16, he was completely outclassed by Semi Radradra in the second half with the Semi Trailer steam rolling the Eels to victory.
Here, Taylor must somehow figure out a way to make Naiqama equally brilliant at both ends of the field, within the space of a bye weekend.
Unfortunately, there is so much wrong with this movie. Taylor is horribly miscast as an NRL coach. I just didn’t think he was believable at all and I have no idea what the hair and make up department were thinking when they were styling Naiqama.
Furthermore, I have no idea of the audience in which this movie is aimed at? So long as he scores a couple of tries and he’s still there the following week, NRLCEO players don’t care if misses a few tackles.
Blues Brothers 2000
Escape the horror of Wednesday night and remember the happy times for the NSW Blues. This documentary tells of the epic performance of the 2000 NSW Blues who put the cleaners through Queensland, so much so that Origin was declared dead.
Go back to a time before Cronk, Smith and Inglis. Before endless video replays, delayed kick offs and social media platforms allowing you to complain about them to the world.
Sure Johnathan Thurston might be a future immortal but re-live Ryan Girdler’s breathtaking performance as he reflects on the records he still holds for most points in a game and a series.
GI can keep ‘The Goanna’, leave me to enjoy Bryan Fletcher’s hand grenade when it comes to post try celebrations.
And as for impact off the bench, who needs ‘The Beast from Belmore’ when you’ve got the ‘Menace from Malta’ Mick Vella (remember him?)?
Compelling viewing from start to finish. 5 Stars!
Friday
In a bid to avoid an exodus of viewers north of the border because the Broncos have the bye, Channel 9 has commissioned its own rugby league movie, “Friday”.
Like the original, this version of “Friday” is about guys sitting around with nothing to do on a Friday. So basically exactly what the Broncos will actually be doing this Friday.
It features Anthony Milford in the lead role and Justin Hodges as his loud mouthed, annoying offsider.
The boffins at Channel 9 have thought ahead too and with the Broncos not featuring on Friday night until Round 20, be sure to keep an eye out in the coming weeks for “Next Friday” and “Friday After Next”
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
All Steve Martin wants to do is get home for the holidays. The only problem is that his only ride is with a certain Warriors outside back.
This is Martin at the height of his powers as he shows he is one of the true comedy greats. For Hurrell it’s a big step up from starring opposite New Zealand soapie stars but he proves he is more than capable of holding his own, even if he does spend most of the movie getting Steve Martin to hold it for him.
Junior
You know how it is. You want to watch the footy and she wants to watch a movie. Well why not both? This week we review the family comedy, Junior.
Danny DeVito and Wayne Pearce team up in this mad cap comedy about a man trying to have a baby. A baby! It’s funny because men aren’t supposed to have babies!
After year’s of criticism towards Wayne’s son Mitchell, the NSWRL decide that one of its all time greats must be able to sire a more talented son than the Roosters’ number 7. Only trouble is Mrs Pearce is having none of it which means it’s up to Wayne to tap into his maternal instinct. Chaos ensues as DeVito and Pearce team up to try and make a more dependable player than young Mitchell.
Unfortunately this movie has not aged well. What would have been biting satire a year ago is now completely obsolete with Mitchell on the verge of steering NSW to a series win. Then again it could quickly become a blueprint should NSW not do the job in Game 3.
Flipper
Daly Cherry-Evans plays a young man who is shipped off by his agent to test the market and eventually winds up on the Gold Coast. Unenthusiastic at first, it is here that he meets “Uncle” Dave Smith who assures him the cash is there and that he should sign on the dotted line.
Daly agrees and it’s there that rumours begin to swirl that he will not honour his contract. Will Daly move to the Titans or will the lure of remaining in the big city ultimately win?
While Cherry-Evans tries his best here, he suffers by having to deliver cliched lines like “I have to do what’s best for me and my family”. The tone of this story is much darker than last year’s release featuring James Tedesco and no doubt will leave audiences polarised.
Lethal Weapon
You know how it is.
The first Friday night game is over and you’re tossing up between watching the delayed game or something interesting.
Well why not combine the two?
This week it’s Channel 9’s post football coverage classic, Lethal Weapon 3. Shaun Fensom and Ken Nagas form an unlikely duo; just try to ignore the annoying short guy who runs his mouth the whole time.
It’s a thrill ride from start to finish and the only way you’ll see the Raiders on a Friday night.
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Geoff Adams is the foremost authority on Workhorse Watching. A past time no one else does mind you. Get the lowdown on all things workhorse related including Stats Per Minute.
