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Grumpy Young Man

Grumpy Young Man

G’day Porkchops,

The GYM is back for another week of Lurker Abuse and to address other extremely important, life threatening situations. This Lurker bloke continues to dish out just utter nonsense and speculation hidden under the guise of “Insider info.” GYM won’t stand for it.

Also, for what its worth, as I stated in my first ever post – I am a no-body. I don’t claim to have any NRL inside knowledge, but I do have common sense and a keyboard. I also don’t make any money out of this, and I sure as FUCK hope the Lurker doesn’t too. This is just one grumpy young man’s opinion.

This week I’ll take a look at his most recent efforts “tapping away at that keyboard, busy answering all your burning questions and queries about the biggest names in rugby league. ” Horse shit mate. You’re just tapping at your keyboard like every other keyboard fucking warrior with a Twitter account.

 

Q1. Tolman and Feki to the Warriors in 2017, you heard it here first. 

Lurker: Tolman no way, Feki is a chance.

Well, considering both are still on contract to their current clubs in 2017 common sense tells us more than likely that they will both just stay where they are. Not that contracts mean much these days – but he leaves himself with an out by saying Feki is a chance. That’s not even mentioning the fact that Tolman has been one of the form props of the season and his value is only getting higher with the fact he can play big minutes and has a huge workrate.

 

Q2. Aubusson, Liu, Moa, who is staying who is going? 

Lurker: Roosters love Aubusson, wont go. The other two will go with the money, may leave. 

Good to see Lurker guess that Aubusson won’t go anywhere, because he is highly regarded at the Roosters, yet give no answer as to the other two players. Great.

 

Q3. How does STG regard Mann after two dismal rounds? Was a good signing but looked coughed in the lights.

Lurker: Will go down as another player very good at Melbourne and not so good elsewhere.

So, after two (albeit shit) games, Lurker has branded Mann as a ‘not so good’ player. Crazy. The guy has played two games in a position he has barely if ever played in the NRL. I don’t know why someone would ask Lurker that though, as if he has some inside track with the STG coaching staff.

 

Q4. Who’s got the centre spot at Cronulla? A centre on the bench is ridiculous. 

Lurker: Bird and Leutele are doing the job, Beale on a five man bench so will prob be the 18th man. 

Well, yeah. As per the program and as per the first two games of the season, Bird and Leutele are the centres. They are doing a good job too. Beale was on the bench in round 2, and didn’t miss out so it’s strange that Lurker would guess that Beale wouldn’t play this week.

 

Q8. Who will be the Titans next signing? 

Lurker: Chasing an outside back from the UK.

Yeah mate, it was reported on the 10th of March in the Gold Coast Bulletin that they were interested in Sarginson. At least provide a source when you are spurting other people’s journalism as your own.

 

Q9. Any big names Manly are chasing? 

Lurker: Chasing an edge back rower, may chase one of several good Queenslanders set to go on the market. 

Really mate? They may chase some good players that go on the market? What a fucking scoop! Stop the fucking presses. Wow.

 

Q10. Who are the Eels looking at with Watmough and Paulo gone? 

Lurker:  They are after a prop and have money to spend, may chase James Tamou. 

Ok.. there are a few things to address here.

  1. How the FUCK do Parra have money to spend after a run of salary cap breaches over the last few years?
  2. James Tamou would be one of the highest paid props in the game, so even if Parra have cash to spend – how could they afford to pay the fortune Tamou would be asking?
  3. Lurker has just guessed at a big name prop who is off contract next year, a running theme with Lurker.
  4. He neglects to mention the reported offer from the Cowboys to keep Tamou at the club until 2019, article from the Courier Mail on the 16th March.

 

Q17. What’s the latest with Buhrer? Taupau was impressive on the left edge on Monday night.

Lurker: Buhrer a few weeks away, Taupau ahead of him in the pecking order right now.

Well yeah of fucking course he is, Buhrer is injured! Would be fucking hard to be above a health gun forward when you have a broken jaw. Buhrer will come back into the starting side when he is healthy. I dare say that when Buhrer is back, Jake Trbojevic will go back to prop and Buhrer will be in the back row. Just a guess though, at least I can admit I’m guessing!

 

Q18. Are the Panthers after a new half? Moses, Keary or Reynolds? 

Lurker: Gus says no, I don’t believe him.

I would, because he actually has some idea what he is talking about. Wallace and Soward both at the back ends of their careers, but with Moylan, Martin and Smith at the club they certainly aren’t desperately looking for a new half.

 

Q26. Where are the Keary to Dragons rumours coming from? Keary’s camp? 

Lurker: No, they are keen even if they deny it.

Well yeah, he’s off contract and one of the best young halves in the game, of course they are keen. Same with just about every other club in the league without established or young halves. I can tell you where the rumours are coming from, Luker’s imagination!!!

 

Now, on to some fresh Grumpy Young Man gear grinders…

 

In$ide info???

What is the fucking go with News websites that charge you for a fucking subscription??? It’s news! It’s not insider info, its not anything special, its just a subscription in order to read some fucking blog with regurgitated info from other sites. Courier Mail, Telegraph, The Australian – amongst the offenders. I suspect it’s from their dwindling physical newspaper sales but geez, its not hard to find near identical info on other sites such as Twitter, Facebook and numerous other news sites. Don’t ever fucking dish out your hard earned to feed these fuckwits.

 

Touchy feely

Ref touching is a hot topic at the moment and I don’t understand why is so hard to sort out. It should be an automatic sin-bin and that’s it. No suspension unless its in an intimidating manner. If a player intentionally touches a ref, sin bin him.

The refs are partially to blame here too, they are too matey with players. They should be calling players by their number, not name, not calling anyone mate, not warning anyone and not taking any shit from players. Refs shouldn’t be touching players on the back before they feed scrums and players shouldn’t be touching refs to get attention. I don’t understand why its so hard to fix. Sin-bin.

 

Why are you still reading this?

Fuck off.

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Grumpy Young Man

The Grumpy Young Man is a man ahead of his geriatric years (although his hairline adds five years). He is angry about the current state of music on Triple J, local government call centres and lecturers that make him turn up to class. He loves his fantasy footy, but he hates it when a tap back off a bomb is given as a try assist on NRLCEO.

Latest posts by Grumpy Young Man (see all)

Grumpy Young Man

The Grumpy Young Man is a man ahead of his geriatric years (although his hairline adds five years). He is angry about the current state of music on Triple J, local government call centres and lecturers that make him turn up to class. He loves his fantasy footy, but he hates it when a tap back off a bomb is given as a try assist on NRLCEO.