Your Future Comes Eventually
This week, the Crystal Ballboy has his prayers answered, remembers our fallen soldiers, and (for no apparent reason) goes on a half-thought-through rant, before actually getting around to do the job he’s paid the big bucks to do – make predictions.
(NB: The Crystal Ballboy is not paid for his opinions, hence the questionable quality.)
Through NRL Jesus, all NRL things are possible
Firstly some housekeeping – Those prayers to NRL Jesus last week must have worked!
Christmas came early for some last Easter weekend, when the NRL Tooth Fairy delivered some 4-pointered birthday presents in the way of tries to Ryan James, Josh Dugan, Mitch Brown, and Sosaia Feki to open their scoring accounts for 2014.
See guys – all you have to do is believe.
At the going down of the sun and on the sideline, We will remember them.
This Anzac day, as we pause to think of those who fought and died for our country, let us cast our minds over our fallen NRL comrades who (for the rest of this season at least) are no longer with us on the footy fields of battle.
Lachlan Coote (Pre Season)
Dene Halatau (Pre Season)
Dylan Farrell (Round Six)
Clint Newton (Pre Season)
Steve Matai (25 mins into each match)
Corey Oats (Pre Season)
Edrick Lee (Round 3)
Jharal Yow Yeh (Pre Season)
Tom Symonds (Pre Season)
Michael Gordon (Round 4)
Mitchell Dodds (Pre Season)
Matt Duffie (Pre Season)
Justin Hodges (Any day now)
Tim Moltzen (Pre Season)
Thomas Leuluai (Round 7)
Repped to Shreds
Anzac Day also means the start of the NRL’s representative season. By now each faction has squabbled over, and settled on, which young up-and-coming stars are going to play for which country/state – only to completely overlook them when it comes to actually selecting the teams.
Why they bother getting young blokes’ hopes up is beyond me.
Then there’s the seemingly meaningless City v Country match. I get that the blokes selected are proud to play, but does anyone really care about who plays, or who wins or loses? Isn’t it just another chance for players not to get named in their NRL teams that week (meaning they’re missing from your fantasy teams) and another chance for them to get injured?
If they want to be fair dinkum, they should have a game played between the best players in the NSW Cup and a rep team comprised of blokes playing in the 5 CRL Regional Groups.
Me make accurate predictions? That’s unpossible!
Anyway – enough of my ranting… This column is supposed to predict the weekend’s outcomes, and foretell your fantasy fortunes.
Hmm… Inspecting the Crystal Ball…
Chooks over Dragons in a nail-biter – Possibly a golden-point affair (plenty of tackles, but few points – play your forwards.)
Storm to romp it in over the woeful Warriors. If your opposition has Cam Smith in their team, I pity you.
Sharks over Panthers in what will possibly be the most entertaining (yet sloppy) game you will see all year. I’m predicting someone will go close to a hat-trick of tries.
JT to lead the Cowboy’s assault over the Eels, where he’ll score at least 10 points. Darcy Lussick will be keen to make amends too… Ray Thompson will get more game time, but will come up just short of a workhorse effort.
Knights over Dogs in a belter! I also predict that the commentators will remind us, ad nauseum, about how representative jumpers are on the line this weekend, and speculate as to the players’ potential.
Manly in a close one over the Raiders. I predict some biff (or at least some testosterone fuelled collar grabbing) and a potential sin-binning. That being said, play your forwards in this one, there’s gonna be workhorse tries a-plenty!
Tigers over Titans to retain the NRL Title Belt for the 4th week in a row, making them the longest holders of the belt for 2014. The crystal Steeden tells me that the Titan’s defence will be abysmal, so don’t expect many (if any) workhorse tries from them.
The Crystal Ballboy
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