The Crystal Ballboy

Hello seekers.

You’re reading this because you seek answers to the questions that plague your NRLCEO team. I have the answers, and you need only but to ask.

Each week, I gaze into my Steeden shaped crystal ball, and let the NRL universe reveal itself to me. Sometimes the visions are clear, and sometimes they are obscure – but 60% of the time, it works every time!

The Rabbitohs had a great Round 1, thanks in part to the performance of Greg Inglis. In Round 2, I predict that in an effort to contain him, Anthony Watmough will have the Eagle’s forwards fired up. This should result in some big hits, and potentially, some big penalties. If the Bunnies are able to get the upper hand, Choc could get a little too fired up and land himself in the bin.

For Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) 2014 presents a number of surprises that will keep you on your toes. And being a firey affair, I would advise Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius NRLCEO’s to take caution in playing forwards from this match. Everyone else is cool though.

Taking another look into the crystal Steeden, I see the Newcastle back on track. Wayne Bennett is too good a coach to let the Knights fail as dismally as they did to the Panthers, twice in a row. This is good news to those of you with Raiders forwards. With Kurt Gidley back at fullback, he will be very influential in the Novocastrian attack, which I foresee to run wild. Provided the Green Machine is well oiled, they will have to do a mountain of defence.

The NRL spirits tell me to pick up Knights backs and Raider forwards. Dane Tilse notched 27 tackles and 9 hitups last week, and I’d recommend grabbing him for this week if he’s available.

I’m getting another vision. It’s a chicken with a dead snake in it’s mouth.

Like I said, the visions are sometimes obscure, but at times it’s like the NRL universe is trying to show me pictures it made in Microsoft Paint.

I assume the crystal ball is trying to tell me that the Roosters are going to kill the Eels. The Warriors effort made the Eels look like world beaters, and Radradra and Toutai both bagged a hat trick. The crystal ball tells me that wont happen again all year…

Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) have two beneficial planets taking up residence within them. Titans and Tigers.

I’m being told this will be high scoring, with both team’s defensive units weak as water. Both teams should have some backs floating around your competition’s free-list, that may be worth investing in. If you have Titans or Tigers backs, this is the week to start them. Tedesco did well against the Dragons last week, and if he can put in a similar performance this week, the universe will reward those who believe (and name him in their NRLCEO lineups.)

If you have forwards playing in this match who aren’t noted workhorses, it may be beneficial to leave them out this week.

With the Warriors, their performance this week will determine their worth this season. Last week they played like the proverbial busteds against the Eels, and most were willing to notch it up to Round 1 jitters, and the fact that NZ are notoriously bad away from home. If the Warriors cant perform well against the Dragons, the universe suggests it might be time to bail on them already.

I predict that Thomas Leuluai will return from injury in Round 3 in coach Elliot’s attempt to rearrange the deck-chairs on the Titanic. It may be time to slot him into your squad – unless you’re a Gemini. Just don’t, trust me.

If you have anything you need to ask the NRL cosmos, drop me a line at @CrystalBallBoy, CrystalBallboy@gmail.com, or by leaving a comment below.

Until next week – may your planets align

-The Crystal Ballboy